So yesterday, some couple walked into a local gas station mini-mart and asked the clerk to warm up something for them in a microwave. When it gave off a funny smell, the clerk unwrapped the thing in the microwave and found out it was a penis. Yes, you read that correctly. A penis. She called police, and the couple fled. As could only happen in western PA, the penis turned out to be a fake. You see, the woman was going to have to take a blood test at work. She was going to fail. She asked a male coworker for some of his urine to turn in as her own. He gave her some, and by some brilliant flash of inspiration, they decided it would be best to put said urine into a fake penis, as if this would somehow authenticate the urine. They also realized that the urine shouldn’t be cold when they turned in the sample. Hence the mini-mart trip. Dude, you just can’t make this shit up.
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